I know you can't wait to get yer hands on my tradin' stock, so this page will tell you how to do it.

I take money, money orders, cashiers checks, gold & silver bullion, government warrants, federal reserve notes and all other kinds of Yanqui dollars, illegal narcotics, white slaves, and all forms of internationally recognized trade goods.

I don't take personal checks, purchase orders, business checks, counter checks, any kind of credit card, promissary notes, I.O.U.s, used up wives, delinquent children or other white elephants.

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